Monday, November 19, 2007

Letter from Matilda

Harmons Dist.
Harmons P.O
8/11/007 (Nov. 8, 07)

Dear Lacy,
Greetings in Jesus Name. I have recieve your letter and was so glad to hear from you and I am feeling very happy to hear the good news that you and Phil is going to get married. I am so sorry that I can't be there. The Lord say married is Honorable and thats is a good thing you are going to do. I wish you and phil a happy and prosperous married life. My dear friend I miss you very much hoping to see you both in Summer. We have plenty rain out here otherwise everything is O.K. I am very glad to know you are still going to school. It is very hard but God will see you through. I am still keeping close to God for He is my only Source of Survival in everything. When I remember How we always sit down and talk together I cry. I am still praying for you and Phil that God will help you Both in all your undertakings. Give my love to your family. My family join in sending best wishes to you and Phil and they wish you and a Happy and Beautiful marriage. I wish you Gods richest Blessing and protection. Keep sweet, you are my Darling Friend. I love you from the depth of my heart. Your darling friend, (I will write you and mail it.)
Matilda Morrant

Monday, November 12, 2007

Broken Down - a level of heartache I don't know how to dig myself out of...

Life has been rough lately. I've built up this bitterness, this sweet tasting clod of shit that eases my aching heart for awhile, while it rips others to pieces. My ungracefulness could cause me to throw up. It's really easy to point out other's brokenness, selfishness, and sin. But why? Why have I allowed myself to become so swallowed up by this disease?

Heartache. Pure and simple. I have this heart, and it flourishes best when it is at home. And it hasn't been home for a long time. Where is home? Home is in people, in love, in relationships, in the lost, the broken, the homeless. And no, these aren't figurative words. I mean that my heart flourishes when I am with broken people. My heart comes alive when I am spending time with people who live on the streets. My heart sings so freaking loud when I am doing what Christ has allowed me to do.

I burst into tears tonight. A group of doctors and nurses just got back from Harmons. I got a facebook message saying that I had a letter from Matilda! Oh my LORD I cannot wait to open that letter! And then I opened up this photo album of the medical trip that just got back, and memories, and heartache, and sadness, and jealously, and love, and sweat, and passion filled my soul. I burst out crying and couldn't stop looking at these pictures of my home. This place that I spent 3 long months, loving on people and experiencing more of Christ living in me than I ever have before.

God, it kills me knowing that I won't be back to Harmons for so long. Maybe (pray!) I'll go back to Jamaica this summer, but only the Lord knows when. And what kills me even more is knowing so many people who get to go down over Christmas and Spring break. I don't want people going there for their own experience or to do the "Christian thing" or to have the "mission trip experience." I want people to go and love those people. Not with a goal, or an outcome, or an agenda, or any other selfish, faithless thing. Love and let God happen. Build a house. 1 house for 1 family in 1 week. That's incredible. Bring a family some new clothes. That's incredible. Listen to a story. Incredible. Pay attention to a life. Incredible. LET GOD LOVE THROUGH YOU.

I sit here in Lakota Coffee Company, crying. Trying to write a post for others to read, when really, it's just for me. It's time to deal with heartache. It's time to think about these things, and not to just sit with a heart full of memories that only few know about. It's time to write letters, to pray, to seek the Lord. It's time to start picking off this creeping bitterness and to allow myself to be at home again.

This is probably the most vulnerable you'll ever see me get.

Lace

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Sunday, September 30, 2007

man, I sure do love to sing...

Hey I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who came out to my first show last night! It means a lot that you all were there. The night was everything it could have been. I was so nervous about an hour and a half before, but as soon as I got behind the mic, I was having a blast. It's incredible to see a dream finally coming true.

My first album will be out in early December! I did all my recording in the studio this past year and it is all being mixed and put together right now! If you'd like to pre-order a cd, that would be awesome! They are $10 and you'll be the first to get your hands on a copy. I need 100 people tp pre-order before I can get the cd made so make sure you get one!!!

Love you guys,

Lace

Friday, September 28, 2007

missing jamrock...

Lately, I have really been missing Jamaica. Every morning when I wake up, I try to imagine myself waking up there. Hot as ever, roosters crowing, dogs barking like crazy, noise from downstairs... Last night Phil and I were driving home from Jeff City and a Jamaican-ish song came on the radio and all I could think about was dancing like crazy at courtyard. Little kids hanging on my arms, sweat dripping down my back, ice cream melted on the floor...

Gosh, I miss it a lot. I'm really hoping to go down over Christmas break. I only need $600, but now that we're saving for a wedding and a honeymoon and everything, I don't know if I'll be able to.

Lace--

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Gettin' hitched...


Well most of you know this, but I am engaged to PHIL!!! He propsed last Thursday. I would love to call all of you but it would take forever so I thought I would tell you all what happened here...

So last week, Phil asked me to go on the "BEST DATE OF MY LIFE!" So I knew we were going on a date last night. He picked my up at my door at 7:00 and we walked outside. I didn't see his car anywhere but I DID see a guy standing with his arms folded against this shiny black car. He was wearing all black, a bright orange tie, and had stunna-shades on! Low and behold, it was our chauffer for the night - ONE OF PHIL'S YOUNG LIFE GUYS!!! I got in the car and was like, "Phil, what is going on??? What are we doing? Why is Chad driving us around?" He just told me it was a special date...

We drove around downtown a little and then drove back towards East Campus (where we all live). We stopped at Phil's house. As soon as we parked, 2 guys dressed up came and escorted us to the balcony of Phil's apartment. (Yes, the guys were 2 more of Phil's YL guys...) We went up there and there was a cute little table for 2, lime green dishes, bright pink daisies in a vase... It was just CUTE! We had water and rolls and salad. (All of which were served to us by the "waiters" aka young life guys). After salad, Phil asked me if I was ready to go and I was like, "What? Ok, we just had salad though..."

We get back into our chauffeured car and drive around downtown some more, then head back again to East Campus and wind up at my best friend Erica's house. Same thing - 2 different Young Life guys come out to the car and escort us up the side steps and to the balcony at Erica's house. There was another table for 2 out there, but much fancier and more romantic. There were candles everywhere, a bottle of wine, Christmas lights all around the room, it was unbelievable... (and yes, by this time, I was thinking, "Ok this is either one incredible date or this is THE date!!!") We were served again and had a wonderful chicken with tomato basil pasta dish! It was incredible. After eating, Phil said it was time to go again...

Chad picked us up again and drove around downtown one last time and then we drove back to East Campus AGAIN and wound up at MY HOUSE!!! (Keep in mind, I had just been there about an hour before this!!!) Chad said this was the end of his job so we told him goodbye! The house looked amazing! It was beautiful!!! There were candles all the way up the front steps and we went inside to a dark dark house, all filled with candles and stuff. We walked through the kitchen and then were met by 2 more of Phil's young life guys who were all dressed up, holding up a dessert menu. They sat us on the back deck, which looked INCREDIBLE! Candles EVERYWHERE!!! More wine, rose petals covering the table, red table clothes, it was unbelievable. Our servers brought us out these incredible strawberry cannoli parfait things! Unbelievable! And chocolate covered strawberries! We just sat and talked... (By this time, it was dark outside...) After dessert, the servers brought us coffee to finish off our meal!

We were finished so Phil asked me if I wanted to go on a drive! I said sure! I asked him if we could go out to the river (We have this little spot on the Missouri River that we ALWAYS go to, like once or twice a week!) Since we didn't have his car, we had to walk to his house (which is just 2 blocks away.) So, we got in his car and headed towards the river... (About at 15-20 minute drive.)

We get there and he asks me if I want to get out! I say yes (which, I keep thinking, what if I WOULDN'T have!?) It's really really dark by this point so we get a flashlight and walk onto the bridge. We look down on the bank which is where we wanted to walk to, but we see 3 guys fishing and stuff. I asked Phil if he wanted to stay and he said, "Yeah, let's stay a little bit longer. Maybe they'll leave soon." Low and behold, 3 minutes later (no kidding) they packed up and left. So, we walked under the bridge and down to the bank.

The bank at night is AMAZING! On the bridge everything was covered by trees and really dark. But on the bank, it was incredible! It was much farther out, so the trees cleared out and you could see the sky! The moon lit the water up and lit the sky up! It was awesome looking. At this point I am being my normal nerdy self and looking around with the flashlight at stuff.

Then, Phil says, "Ah! I've got a bug bite! Ah!" (He bends down to "itch his bugbite.") Then he says, "Lace?" And I said, "Huh?" (Still kinda looking away at stuff...) "Will you marry me?" ...........

I looked down at him and (yes this is all a blur sort of right now. All I know is that I screamed "YES" and kept saying, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" "We're getting married!!!" Haha! And yes, there were tears, the happiest tears of my life!

So then he shows me the ring... A long time ago we decided we weren't going to do diamonds or anything too fancy. We want to do mission work in the 3rd world or in a poor inner-city somewhere, so we want to be very careful about what we have (possession-wise). I mean, how would it look if we lived in a poor slum in Africa or something and I had a huge rock on my hand? Not good. So he tells me about my ring...

It's my wedding band. Not an engagement ring. But right now, it's on a necklace. And I have to wear it as a necklace until we are officially wed! It is silver and has Hebrew writing all around it that means, "I am my lover's and He is mine." Yes - this is our favorite verse from Song of Solomon. So that's the ring story. Pretty great. Very different from the "normal" way of doing things, but a true testament to our love and our faith in glorifying Christ.

So then we leave... smiling from ear to ear. I can't believe it. I freaked out about every 2 minutes or so and it was just really great. I called my mom and dad. It was so great! They both cried and were really excited for us! Then, we're driving back to Phil's house. We said we were just going to hang out, watch a movie, and celebrate with each other.

We get to his house and it's pitch black. (Which is pretty odd for his house too!) We go inside, turn on the lights, and no joke, about 80 of our friends jumped out and screamed "Congratulations!!!!" It was amazing. I was screaming! I was SO surprised! I still can't believe it. I was shaking and crying and it was just incredible! We had a huge celebration party! It was just wonderful!!! Ahh! So the party lasted till about midnight and we all went home.

Phil and I got breakfast this morning. We wanted last night to be our celebration and celebration only so this morning we talked wedding logistics! We went to Cracker Barrel and talked about everything. We'd like to get married early in the summer so that we have 2-3 months of being married before school starts next fall, so that most of our friends will still be in town (because lots of people do internships, summer missions, etc.) and that way we'll have a free summer and not have to do "wedding stuff". Anyway, we looked at dates and so far thought that May 24th would be the best. We'd really like to save the date and start looking at places. (which will be either in KC or we thought about trying to find a sweet place along the river.)

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know! I can't even believe it! This is such an exciting thing!

LOVE!

Lace