Today was the first day of classes. I'm enrolled in a class called Studies in Critical Theory. My teacher was a little nuts. She's this old crazy professor with blonde hair and red lipstick. She referred to herself as a "tenured radical". (I thought that was actually pretty hilarious and quite true!) Anyway, she gave an "introduction" to the course, which was more like a graduate lecture that passed over everyone's head. During the semester, we are going to look at the views of one man, a french "thinker" named J. Lacan. We're reading his black-market seminar called Le Desir et Son Interpretation, aka Desire and its Interpretation. This will be a very interesting semester, as we read his unpublished, and unofficially translated seminar - a 600-page bound book that a bunch of jesuits copied down while Lacan was giving the lecture in 1958. Anyway, why I'm telling you this is because she talked a lot about what Lacan thinks and believes and psychoanalyzes and all of that. Apparently he is considered to be the top thinker of the 20th century! His views counter Freud's in many ways. Our professor kept rattling off names and places and terms and stuff about post-structuralism and fundamentalism, and all these ism's we pretend to know about. And then she said what really caught my attention. Lacan (by the way, it's pronounced La-Khan, with one of those French, nasally 'n's) says that at the foundation of all things, there is loss, there is lack. We weren't born fulfilled, to live life in hopes to bring back our first being. Rather, we begin with loss, we begin broken. Because this guy is so into human thinking and ideas and philosophy and psychology, I'm guessing he doesn't have a solid belief in religion or spirituality (granted, I'm sure he has plenty of thoughts about many "ideas" in these topics.) Anyway, it struck me. It really did. Lacan believes that a baby doesn't know right from wrong or good from bad, until a trauma occurs. (Which I sort of think contradicts what I said he believed previously.) A baby doesn't know his mother's breast is good until it is taken away, and from then on, there is a loss, there is a brokenness, there is a quest for fullfillment, also known as LIFE! This was incredibly interesting to me, as I believe this to be our reason for life, a desire to be fulfilled or completed by Christ. Lacan believes that our human experience is only regulated by language, identifications, and trauma. (Which yes, this would be hard to disagree with. Although, I might add those seriously life-giving moments, the polar opposites of trauma!) All of these unconscious things we do are simply (or rather complexly) our own cultures imprinting on our human nature. My teacher just went on and on about how our entire lives revolve around the quest of being fulfilled. We need a cup of coffee because we lack a cup of coffee. We need a lover because we lack being loved by another. We are and have been at a loss since we begun. I don't know if this blows your mind like it did mine. But here is this deep thinker, one of the "top thinkers of the 20th century" who is experiencing what God designated our lives for. (And he probably doesn't even know it.)
This will be an interesting class-
Lace
Yesterday, my best friend from Jamaica called me, miss Jay! It was so great to hear her voice. I'm pretty sure God had something to do with it, because I was on a stretch of road that I never have phone service on, and we talked for a good 30 minutes. Anyway, we talked for a long time. She got my letter. Mizzou is down in Harmons now, so a friend took a bunch of letters down there for me! We talked about everything going on in Harmons. Donna had her baby boy. Ricky is out of prison and back with his family! All the workers want a raise. Donna is bound and determined to get her job back in the store. Alti still works for the water company. Matilda is still fabulous. Mark and Emily are doing well. Shane is Jay's new bodyguard. I mean, it was just great to hear from her. I got updated on ALL KINDS of stuff going on down there. Probably the most exciting news to me is that Jay is going to try and come to the states for our wedding! I freaked out when she told me! If we send an invitation to her soon, she can take it to the embassy to get a visa to come. We didn't really talk about money, but I know a plane tickets is around $700. Gosh, it would be incredible if she came! Pray hard that she'll be able to come and have the money to do it! If she is able to make it, she WILL be standing up with me. Yup, an 8th bridesmaid!!! I love that girl, and miss her to death... 
These are a pair of Tom's Shoes, which were given to me by my brother and his wife. Every time someone purchases a pair of Tom's Shoes, another pair, identical to the ones purchased, are given to someone in a 3rd-world country who walks the ground barefoot. It's such a neat idea and a great cause! Last night I was talking with Phil about how sad it is that almost every organization or project or whatever that involves giving always has an incentive attached. We heard an ad on the radio about a place that gives free carwashes on Tuesday's, while collecting a donation for a children's hospital. It's sad that we have to give things away to get people to give to things that we should already be giving to. Although that may be true, these shoes aren't just a way to get people to give. They are a constant reminder on my feet of the blessings I have, the God I serve, and the Love that He has given me to share with others. Check out Tom's website (below), they have a bunch of other sweet stuff as well!
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